Practicing Gratitude Even When Everything is Terrible

Practicing Gratitude Even When Everything is Terrible

Over the past few months, I’ve been struggling, feeling stuck and unable to see a clear path forward. I left my stable job, lived at my parents’ house for a while, and then moved to Australia with absolutely no plan, no job, and no stable housing. I struggled with depression and intense anxiety, which made it hard to believe there would be a way out of the mess I’d created for myself. Between my personal situation and all the terrible things happening in the world, it was hard to see anything good.

Oddly enough, it never actually occurred to me to stop and be grateful. When everything feels terrible, our first instinct can sometimes be to get bogged down. The last thing that someone struggling wants to hear is, “You should be more grateful.” This sentiment that we should remain grateful no matter what can feel like a self-righteous thing to say.

We must allow ourselves to feel our negative emotions and process them. For me, I was physically feeling all of this stress and worry in my body, but was so disconnected from actually acknowledging and processing what I was feeling. I still struggle with this. I carry anxiety about my future and what I’m going to do with my life, how I will be able to support myself. And I grieve for the version of life I thought I’d have, not only if I’d stayed in my government job, but if the election of 2024 had gone differently.

I’m not saying you need to dwell on negative emotions, but it is healthy to process and allow yourself to grieve, rage, cry, whatever you need to do.

So how does this connect to practicing gratitude?

Here’s where some of you may roll your eyes. Being in a semi-eat-pray-love time in my life, it seemed fitting to go to Bali (specifically Ubud, Bali). Apparently, that’s where everyone goes after (a) quitting their job, (b) ending a long-term relationship, (c) crashing out, or (d) all of the above. I noticed that many of us were drawn there for similar reasons, but primarily, there was this sense that we were seeking some sort of healing or divine guidance.

I am not a religious person, but rather more “spiritual.” This year, my dormant spirituality has been creeping more into my life as I continue to seek answers. Since the beginning of this tough journey, I feel that I am being given signs, but I am so disconnected that I can’t even see what’s right in front of me. This is what happens when so much unprocessed negative emotion is blocking your mind and heart from being receptive. So, I went to Bali, and I talked with the teachers and healing practitioners, and random strangers. I did energy work, had my tarot read, and worked on chakra balancing. And I kept getting the same advice: the way to reconnect with your heart, manifest your dreams, and find peace is through practicing gratitude.

Initially, when you’re in a bad place, you think, “What do I have to be grateful for?” Life is full of constant struggle, and we spend a lot of our time just stuck in the mud. When life feels so overwhelmingly terrible, how do we practice gratitude?

It’s as simple as it sounds, honestly. Grab a notebook and write down five things you are grateful for. For me, this looked like: family, friends, good health, a beautiful sunset, and the privilege to even be able to travel to Bali.

Tomorrow, go back and write ten things you’re grateful for. The next day, write 15. Come back every single day and write 15 things you are grateful for. For how long? Honestly, for the rest of your life. Even something as simple as writing one thing down in the morning and before you go to sleep is a solid practice.

When you are walking down the street and hear a beautiful bird song or see a rainbow, allow yourself to stop and feel joy and wonder. Appreciate that there are so many small joys around you, even when times are hard. For a period of time, when I couldn’t find a job, was getting rejection after rejection, and facing housing insecurity, I felt so hopeless and desolate- my little stuffed animal penguin was a lifeline (he made it on the gratitude list every day).

These are incredibly dark times. This month, millions of Americans will be without access to basic social support, and their families will go hungry. Around the world, people are suffering from climate catastrophe, genocide, war, famine… It’s easy to feel hopeless. Practicing gratitude is a way to stay grounded and promote reflection. In times like these, it is also incredibly powerful to retain hope and be reminded of what is good in our lives, what we still have, and what is worth fighting for.